NBA player-themed games & why they suck

Recently, I have been trying to recollect some good old SNES games... NBA Live '95 was my first basketball game in the console. And at that time, I thought the graphics rocked... seriously. Then came NBA Jam... with those dudes donning humongous heads as compared to their bodies... but I still thought they were cool.

Being a crazy NBA fan, since I was 10 (or even younger), I collected everything NBA... collectible cards, games, some jerseys, even pens, notebooks, and other paraphernalia. But most astounding is my fascination for weird basketball player-themed games... which totally sucked. All of them. I had two of them, but I recently discovered one, and tried playing it... it sucked so much that I just had to blog it.

So here goes... the list of player-themed basketball games... All of which sucked... badly... very.

3. Shaq-Fu

At first, I really thought this game was serious fun. It was about this evil creature called Sett Na wreaking havoc to the world... blah blah blah... the usual hero stuff... except that our friend Shaq Daddy is "the chosen one"... which I really thought makes for a very bad marketing product, unless of course, you're a sucker like me... anyways, i still bought the game, simply because I thought Shaq was cool. It's kinda like a Street Fighter-like game, where you get to choose people to use and kick each other's butts. But there are awfully few choices. And Shaq's multi-faceted persona has confused me - he's like a karate kid here, then next thing you know he's a genie in the movie Kazaam, then a robocop-lookalike in Steel, then a rapper. (I have to shamelessly admit that I also bought two of his rap albums. Although I have to tell you that I liked You Can't Stop The Reign from the album with the same title. What a shame.) All of this is alongside his basketball superstardom, and recently, he has been bestowed some honorary member of some North Korean peace/royalty thingy. And now he's an official police for Miami. And he said he has plans to buy Orlando Magic jointly with Grant Hill when they retire. Crazy. But I digress... back to my point, it was a bad game.

verdict: 4 out of 10

2. Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City


Another adventure/action genre game. At first, I thought it would be cool, cos u like slam dunk on basketball rings and get cool items for it, and u throw basketballs at enemies to kill them. It's your weapon. There are even 7 types of basketballs with different abilities - there are homing ones, exploding ones, among others... sounds cool right? well, i think i just played to the second stage, and i was done with it. Sick and tired. Oh, i forgot to tell you the storyline. A Dr. Max Cranium kidnapped an entire basketball team... all of which looks like MJ... weird. Your job is to rescue them and stuff like that. MJ drinks gatorades and eats Wheaties for life. Great. I mean, I really respect MJ, he's the best, the greatest baller of all time. But in the gaming arena, he's one of the worst, losing out to Shaq, simply because I finished Shaq-fu's arcade mode, in different difficulty levels, but i only finished one level of MJ. Out of 24.

verdict: 3 out of 10

and the worst I have seen so far...

1. Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball

what a waste of resources this is... really. From the people who gave us the classic Bomberman series, I expected better. But when I tried playing it yesterday thru a demo version... My goodness... it's a disgrace to such games. I mean, even MJ was tolerable to an extent... but this game... was appalling... it's 5 vs 5 robots playing ball, in which none of them has an identity. And you are like run by fuel and you charge and push each other for the ball. Insane. Then there are like random items that appear out of nowhere that gives cool effects, like throwing a ninja thing to your opponents, or speed, or whatever. But besides the bomberman side of it, this game was useless. Maybe it's because I lost 31-0 to the computer (at rookie level). But I doubt it.

verdict: 0.5 out of 10; (it gets a 0.5 simply for existing... and all that cool bomberman stuff)

My research tells me that the Sega Genesis platform released a game called Barkley: Shut Up and Jam!, which I haven't played yet, simply because I don't have the Sega Genesis console. If anyone has ever played this (I doubt it though), please tell me about it. Also, if there are other NBA player-themed games that I missed out, please tell me about it also.

Despite all this, I am still optimistic about such games. In fact, I liked the Jackie Chan adventure game on the Playstation platform. I'd give it like a 7/10. So there's no reason why NBA players can't do the same.

If you wanna try out basketball-themed games, please stick to them NBA Live's

Now, if you thought my post was sheer gibberish, I'm sorry, especially to those who don't appreciate basketball. But sorry, this is my blog... haha... I choose what rubbish goes in.