tropical misconceptions.

To those taking the A levels, keep it up! You're almost done!

Now, it's time for me to keep it real and speak my mind on some things.

Today, at class, some of my classmates are talking about exchange to Shanghai and Singapore. Of course, I was jealous that they will be able to spend 6 months or so in one of the most amazing places on earth.

However, I overheard some ridiculous misconceptions that they had about it that just made me cringe and laugh at the same time.

MISCONCEPTION #1: Singapore has "jungles"

Maybe they thought we're Borneo or something. Or maybe they're talking about Bukit Timah. But they were also talking about how scared they were of "trekking" the jungle and the "gigantic" insects there. Look, if you're afraid of insects, mosquitoes, and wasps, then the entire Asia is one big jungle. The closest thing Singapore has to a jungle is the rows and rows and columns and columns of HDB's up there in Sembawang or something. I did get lost there once. And there were insects.

And imagine meeting Magilla Gorilla (remember him???) or Yogi Bear on a walk down the "jungle" trails of Sentosa. That would be fun!
Oh, look after those picnic boxes! They get violent when they see them!

Ridiculous.

MISCONCEPTION #2: All drinks in Singapore have tiny umbrella decors on top of it.

Firstly, Bali is definitely miles away from Singapore. One person said "I'm not gonna drink anything that doesn't have an umbrella on top of it!" Good luck then, buddy. These people have to realize that the best drinks aren't those tropical juices with fruit and umbrella decors on top of them, but those that you find in coffee shops with ugly plastic mugs with subtle lip marks on some of them. Bandung, Ice Milo, etc. etc. I would chop off my hair now just to get my hands on an authentic cup of Teh Ping.

Ridiculous.

MISCONCEPTION #3: You can go partying every night and have loads of fun.

Sorry. I'm not the right person to give feedback on this. But yeah, NYC has gazillions of fantastic clubs (or so I heard), and Singapore has a routine few. Well, maybe since they're angmohs, that would work for them. More power. Oh! now I get it. They'll go out every night to try out all the "tiny umbrella" drinks.

ELLA-ELLA-Eh-Eh-Eh.

Ridiculous.

And lastly, my FAVORITE.

MISCONCEPTION #4: You can take a boat ride to Malaysia, Thailand, Laos, and the Philippines.

I'll place my tagline on top this time.

Ridiculous.

I mean, if they only knew that I stayed in Singapore for 5 years, and Philippines for 15, then they would have fainted. Instead, I did. Dude, can you imagine rowing a boat to the Philippines!?!? If I could, I'd do that everyday! Row a boat, say hi to my mom, hug my siblings, chat with my dad, take a part time job, cash my checks, take a dump. whatever. I'd do it just to do it.

You know what? I should have said that they don't even need a boat. A raft will do. That would have gotten them all amazed at the beauty of Singapore. Hey, since we're at it, let's just swim to the Philippines!

And I'm not even sure if this is true, but apparently chewing gum is available for prescription in Singapore? I was bamboozled when I heard that. Is it? Is it?

But as a gesture, at the end of class I walked up to them and gave them my e-mail in case they would need someone to talk to regarding Singapore. Perhaps along the way I can find out more laughable misconceptions that they have.

I wanted to rant about how people in my school are being trained to become money-loving robots, but I'd do that another time.

on an even lighter note, Nest sent me this video that I thought everybody should see. Thanks nest for your implicit permission to post this online.




Those CHEEKBONES!!!

I'M OUT!!!