carrot on a stick

Before I dish out a chunk of my thoughts, let's give it up to the organizers for a phenomenal opening ceremony. Really good.

Now, my two cents' worth:

1. Intellectual Property

The way they guarded information was insane. I had to endure 2 hours of live German online streaming of the Olympics, and even that got cut off. Seriously, now I know what my presentation last year about Google and China really is about. You can't even find pictures of the fireworks display online on Google Images, and that thing has EVERYTHING. Ridiculous.

Might as well prevent us from listening to Chinese pop. Save us all.

2. Philippine Representation

Manny Pacquiao is definitely a superstar now, and I'm proud of that. But is he competing in the games? Not at all. His contract says he can't, but, since he's popular, we'll let him carry the flag. No qualms about that.

BUT. for a country of 70 million people... a 13-people delegation!?! What is this!? Can't even form an entire basketball team! Can't even play chess with you guys! Of course, we'll exact revenge during the Asian games, when Billiards is a sport and possibly only Taiwan poses a challenge (at least that's what I would have thought four years ago when I was still following the Billiards scene.)

3. Carrot/Twinkie on a stick

I know I might not sound impartial here, but I can't help but feel like a puppet watching the olympics. With all the political turmoil surrounding the event (and waking up to "Russia invades Georgia" rather than "the Olympics are open"), the global economic crisis, hunger, catastrophe, and strife, the most we get is subtle references to it through art and visual display.

And yet, for some reason, the Chinese has outsmarted everyone again. You see, they've discovered the panacea for all kinds of worries, concerns, and anxieties of the middle class.

Fireworks.

Lots and lots of it. As a matter of fact, to the tune of $40 billion.

Of course, 40bn includes building the stadium and all that (and maybe the talent fees for Sarah Brightman), but everytime the fireworks came on, one can feel a collective global goosebump moment. Even the NBC announcer had to shudder in awe (was the sigh sponsored by Nike as well? Only time will tell)

Of course, I can't pass judgment on anything. That's why it's called two cents' worth: it's not worth much. But hey, opinionated laughter is priceless, so you can argue or agree with me, and that's as much as I'm willing to pay you: two cents (in Philippine currency)

In the future, that's how we're gonna solve our problems:

***

Mrs. Johnson (teacher): Johnny, how many times have I told you not to cut little Jenny's curls off! That is not the point of art class! And please! stop eating glue!

-Jenny sobs-

Johnny: b-b-but, Mrs. Johnson, glue looks so tasty! And hair looks so good to cut!

MJ: But Johnny, you can't do that just because you think it's right! That's what rules are for! You can't just run around and do what you think is right in your eyes! You have to consider what is right for the rest of the class!

-Jenny can't speak, sobs again-

Johnny: My father is a very strong man! I will tell my whole family that you yelled at me! I will eat glue as and when I want to!

MJ: Apologize to little Jenny! Now!

*Little Johnny turns around, runs to the field, and sets off 40 dollars worth of fireworks, runs back to the classroom*

MJ, Johnny, and Jenny: WOW... fireworks.

And they lived happily ever after... for 17 days.

And then Johnny cut Jenny's hair again.

***

In closing, a final thought:

4. Nothing says "overpopulation" more than a human barricade of men and women in uniform, dancing off-the-beat to a bagpipe, using the four dance moves they were taught, for about 2 hours.

and, in a completely unrelated note, I want to own an alpaca when I grow up:


I'M OUT!!!